SONGKRAN
Schedule 2006

	1st, 8th and 15th Activities Location 4 p.m. - 10 p.m. OTOP products fair and mini concert Wua Lai Rd. 2nd, 9th, 12th - 16th Activities Location 3 p.m. - midnight Walking street and cultural performances Ratchadamnoen Rd. 4th - 6th Activities Location 9 a.m. - 10 p.m. Poi Sang Long Festival (Tai Ordination) Wat Papao 9th - 15th Activities Location 6 p.m. - 10 p.m. Thai singing and dancing contests Governor's Residence 6 p.m. - 10 p.m. Traditional Drumming Contest Wat Lokemolee 9th - 16th Activities Location 9 a.m. - 6 p.m. Northern Thai cultural event: the wisdom of Lanna arts & craftsmen 2006 Chiang Mai University Art Museum 12th - 15th Activities Location 9 a.m. - 10 p.m. Northern Thai Costume Contest for Children and Northern food contest Buddha Sathan 9 a.m. - 10 p.m. Merit-Making ceremony and building of sand pagoda Wat Lokemolee 13th Activities Location 07.19 a.m. - 08.00 am Official opening of the Chiang Mai New Year Ceremony Thapae Gate 10.09 a.m. - 10.39 am Ceremony of moving the Buddha Sihing image Wat Phrasingh 2.09 p.m. - 6 p.m. Procession and Bathing of Phra Buddha Sihing and other images Governor's Residence 2.09 p.m. - 6 p.m. Buddha image parade from Nawarat Bridge to the train station Nawarat Bridge - Wat Phrasingh 13th - 14th Activities Location 7 p.m. - midnight Miss Songkran Beauty Contest Thapae Gate

Now I've frequently heard it said that Songkran in Chiang Mai is not what it used to be, and I don't doubt that that is so. Shirtless and over-excited male farangs are rather more in grisly evidence now than they were then, but even so, the city streets especially close to the moat had never been recommendable to the frail or faint-hearted. Then as now, if you liked being wet for three days, having malodorous paste smeared over your face, and were partial to total strangers throwing, shooting, tipping buckets, pistols, hoses of (sometimes iced) water over you, then the Northern capital was the place to be. Oh, and if you liked being wet for longer than that, as I discovered later, getting out of the Northern capital and going to stay anywhere in the boonies was a sensible move, since the villagers were pleased to douse you and each other for anything up to two weeks, virtually non-stop. Nevertheless, behind the mind-blowing madness of what goes on around the Chiang Mai moat and adjoining areas - do, do make sure your car doors are locked if you're foolish enough to try driving by because [For Heaven's sake, man! Do get on with it. Chiang Mai, Songkran, bliss to be alive - you know the stuff...Ed.] - what was I saying? - yes, make sure car doors are locked because it's absolutely normal for revellers to wrench them open and dump half the moat in your lap. Friend of mine had his shoulder dislocated on one occasion, trying to hold his unlocked door closed. Oh, Chiang Mai, Songkran, nothing quite like it...

Nevertheless - as I was saying when I was interrupted - behind this mayhem, customs and behaviour of an altogether different kind are being practiced all over the North, Chiang Mai included, and although the short-term visitor isn't likely to see too much of them, knowing they're still in existence may help get through the more public aspect of things. So let's get down to the nittygritty.

Songkran is of course the beginning of the Thai New Year. Although water-throwing begins in the back streets well ahead of time, the first proper festival day this year is Thursday 13th, known as wan songkran long - 'Passing away day', when the old year dies. In the morning you'll hear sounds around town like gunshots, some of which will also be firecrackers, designed to send the spirit of the old year on its way. This is the time to clean up house and garden, put your affairs in order and visit friends, but it's also a day for serious water-throwing. For hydrophiles, the place to be is the Tha Phae Gate. The Phra Buddha Sihing image is taken through the town in procession, and a lot of cultural activities go on at that gate, including Northern style dancing. Recently, floating large balloons usually from temple grounds has also become popular, and you can now buy balloons from road-side stalls if you want to give it a go yourself.

Friday 14th is an intercalary day, quarrels and bad language particularly to be avoided. Called wan nao - ‘the Day of Decay' - or wan khon sai - ‘sand-hauling day' - the principal activities are getting in stocks of food for New Year feasting and also carrying sand to the local temple, there building it into flag-decorated jedi. They say in some of the official hand-outs, "Water-throwing gets stronger on the second day," but frankly, if you've been out on the earlier days, that's not likely to register.

Chiang Mai Art and
Culture Festival
Schedule 2006

	1 April Activities Location 7 p.m. - 9.30 p.m. Opening Ceremony of Chiang Mai Art & Culture Festival Three Kings Monument 2 April Activities Location 7 p.m. - 7.30 p.m. Opening Ceremony of Chiang Mai Art & Culture Festival Three Kings Monument 2 April Activities Location 7 p.m. - 9 p.m. Lanna Art & Culture Event Chiang Mai Municipal Office 1-9 April Activities Location 6 p.m. Outdoor Concert Three Kings Monument 4-6 April Activities Location 5 p.m. - 10 p.m. Poy Sang Long Wat Papao 6-9 April Activities Location 6.30 p.m. - 7.45 p.m. Lanna Puppet Show Three Kings Monument 7-9 April Activities Location 9 a.m. - 10 p.m. Traditional Northern Market Lanna Wisdom School 7-13 April Activities Location 9 a.m. - 5 p.m. Lanna Art & Culture Event: The Wisdom of Lanna Arts & Crafts 2006 Chiang Mai University Art Museum 8 April Activities Location 10.30 a.m. - 5.30 p.m. Lanna Drumming Competition Three Kings Monument 8 April Activities Location 2.30 p.m. - 5.30 p.m. The 30th Laap Muang Festival Kad Suan Kaew Shopping Centre

Saturday 15th is wan phaya wan - ‘The Lord of Days' - and the first of the New Year. You're still there? Good! You go to the temple in the morning, making merit for dead relatives by giving alms to the monks. Evening is devoted to dum hua, the giving of token gifts by the young to respected elders, and the decorous pouring of water on elderly shoulders, at the same time receiving forgiveness for misdemeanours of the year past.

Theoretically, this is the end of water-throwing in Chiang Mai, and in fact it does begin to slacken a little. Still, this year I wouldn't bet on it being over before the middle of the following week, and one thing to bear in mind if you want to stay dry is that you must never let your guard down.

Two years ago I locked myself away for the duration, only venturing out at night. However, on the last evening I had to cross the town on my motorbike just after sundown. Well, safe enough, I thought, and although the streets were still steaming I got to the Suan Dawk Gate on the moat without incident. There, through the gloaming, I noticed what in other circumstances would've been a crowd to avoid, but as I approached I saw it was composed of bedraggled ancient villagers, not one of them under the age of 80. Perfectly safe, I thought, motoring closer. But no! There was a collective shriek as they saw me, a creaking heave forward like something out of the Night of the Living Dead, and the next moment half the water in the moat was out of its bed and all over me - the old devils!

But as to staying home - there's a problem about that too. Sad to relate, you can't trust even your nearest and dearest: particularly your nearest and dearest. Last year our family agreed to avoid the town, none of this water-throwing madness for us, we said. But as I was quietly pottering round the garden in the evening, again that fiendish shriek went up, right at the back of me - and VUNG! Ice water from the tender hands of wife and darling daughters…

Which is to say that no red-blooded Chiang Mai citizen can be too young or too old, too close or too distant, not to give you the works if the chance presents itself.

But wait! Let me be honest! It's not all negative. I remember being out there one day, twenty years back. Daret's Restaurant - the old Daret's where everyone hung out. It was one of the big days, don't ask me which. Water flying everywhere, pandemonium. I was taking a breather, girding myself up to get back into it, when 'Dai rode up on the back of a friend's bike. Gadai, this is - Rabbit - and how well-named she was! A delightfully off-centre junior bank manager, she enjoyed life to the full, and in the process had been on the back of just about every bike in town, always on the understanding she chose whose bike it was and how long she stayed. At that point my bike was one of the few she hadn't been on, and I regretted it. Well, with what clothes she was wearing plastered against her loveliness, her pearly teeth chattering, she came right up and grabbed my arms. "Oooh, John," she said, "just feel how cold I am!" At the same time as she laid on her delicate cold hands, through the soaked t-shirt her blue nipples stared out at me appealingly. And I remember to this very moment how every goose-pimple on my body rose up and stood in silent tribute to Gadai's embrace…

As I say, it's not all negative, and just for old time's sake, I might get myself out there one of the days, just for a couple of hours. But not near the moat.

(Text © J.M. Cadet 2006))
(The author lives in Chiang Mai. His books - The Ramakien: the Thai epic among them - are on sale in major bookstores).